I think I may have *d the wrong letter in the title. Oh, well. Fuck M*. Damn I d*d it again.

Okay, so here's the deal. About six years ago I got a call from a very good old friend - can't tell you who she is because I just found a story about her on the internet that mentions my name several times and I am mentioned in her Wiki - telling me about a girl she called Titi (tea tea) Nguyen (Tee Tee Gwynn for those of you in Rio Linda).

The girl who called me is an ex lover who is also in show business who had met Teetee at a Buddhist event in LA where my friend was headlining. She kind of fell in love with this girl and insisted I fly out and meet her. I was in the Keys at the time finishing work on a book you may have read.

So here I go west - have I ever mentioned I HATE LA? The ONLY reason I go is because that's where most of my Asian bitches live. Don't you DARE tell any of them I said that. Anyway, so I flew into Fullerton Municipal - not because I wanted to avoid the traffic at St. George's but because it's only $17 for overnight parking. (There is a HUGE fucking joke in that among my friends - the ones who accuse me of flying a million dollar bundle of duct tape - which isn't true. I only spent $660 on that bundle of duct tape. Million.)

Anyway - I'm having too much fun writing about this and need to get to the point. So I land and taxi past a sign that says "TARTUFFLES" - I had no idea lol. There sitting in the bright yellow birthday gift I had purchased for her the year before was all 5'10" of my Asian goddess and a tiny little girl with the brightest teeth and biggest tits I ever saw on a gook.

When the attendent chocked me and boarded I waited for the turbines to wind down before getting out so we wouldn't have to yell to talk. The odd couple of the far east got out of the L and came toward me and I'm thinking to myself, "what the hell is this? Is she bringing me a little fuck toy or what?"

The little one was looking at me with these round, dark eyes that looked like she was starving for something I had plenty to give and I even felt myself getting a hard on! Then when we were introduced she gave me the warmest and softest hug I think I ever had from a stranger - she even pressed against me with all the right parts in all the right places. So here I was, 1900 miles from where I wanted to be, with all 4 inches of my dick, that's a joke - it's really 3 inches, screaming at me, "fuck her! fuck them! fuck everybody! COME ON LET'S GO FUCK!!!"

This is how she looked back then before all the tattoos and stupid ideas:


We picked up a rental Cadillac since the little yellow L has only two seats and in spite of being totally charged at the idea of driving all the way to Redondo with this hot little pussy packet sitting on my lap. Not to mention I really wanted to hear the story and what brought me so urgently to the queer coast where all the most fucked up squat on the planet congregates.

Teetee, it seemed, was making her break into show business and needed a publicist. Damn, I just happen to know one. He's a dumb fucking redneck who spends half his time playing cop and the other half being the shits he likes to fuck with. Scattered life. Anyway ...

Teetee had chosen a new name and I couldn't remember the first part but I remember the last and we had a great time with it. My friend asked, "So ________, what is your favorite shooter? What do you like to drink?"

"Tequila!" I said.

"Well, meet Tila Tequila, see if you can handle a drink of her", said BT.

When we got to Seaside there wasn't much doubt what we would be doing for the next couple of hours. The girls started kissing before I could even get in the door. Evidently this had been planned for a while. What you don't know is that's a 1 bedroom condo and

shit -- I'll be back

Two hundred and thirty million of us are sick of your punk ass, pretend gangsta, thug fantasy games. Who am I talking to? You, you little prick. The one with the baggy jeans and ya lil hat cocked off to the side like a white-meat lollie-pop licker.

I just wish TM Z had the actual video of that candy assed, loud mouthed, Marion Hugh Knight, Jr. In case you don't know him he thinks he owns you. Especially if you are a white, 16 year old girl.

The thing is you "gangstas" now have your pockets full of shit and we're going to have to defend you because from what I read on the 'net those light brown boys from below the border are comin' ta gitchya. What we don't need on the streets of Cali or any other place in the United States of America is gang wars between real gangs and play gangs.

In the mean time lets see if we can shut some more play-baby kindergarten thugs fat lips like this:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=34126810

NOT that I am inciting violence - heavens no.

I am a driven, success oriented, educated, physically fit person. My family is pretty much the same with the exception of my sister who lives in my guest house with her boyfriend of 12 years. They work, pay their bills, but don't save. She is the exception.

I have only ever wanted to be self-employed and to provide jobs for others. This dream has been realized for nearly 30 years. I have had hundreds of employees and some are still with me and have been for many years. Several maintain contact with me even to the point of interrupting me on Google Chat while I am typing this message (thanks Nush!)

But here's the rub ...

The Democrats want me, and you, to be responsible for everyone else's failures. Today it's guaranteed health care by either socializing medicine or forcing insurance companies and medical providers to lower their costs - but only for those who "can't afford it". "Everyone deserves good health care", says Hillary Clinton.

What's next? Homes? Cars? Jobs? Doesn't everyone deserve those, too? Let's see, how does that work in South Korea? In the former Soviet Union? Americans are ignorant as shit about how badly socialism affects EVERYONE even those who "benefit" from socialism.

The worst thing socialism does is to steal from those who can and do to give it to those who can't and won't. Only under Marxism those who can't and won't are turned into slaves of the State and forced into labor.

The Democrats, for the most part - at least those on the Hill - espouse socialistic initiatives and Robin Hood tactics of redistributing wealth. Why is this in Follywood?

Guess who supports this empty, dangerous and globally deadly thought? Right, most of the Hollywood elite who also support the Washington super-star elites.

Walk tall, carry a big fool. Vote for socialism. I'll be dead within about 50 years so you dumb asses who are young enough can watch this nation crumble to nothing.

Oh, anarchists. I have news for you: it would be easier if you just killed yourself because YOU wouldn't like anarchy too much. In fact, why don't you just get on down to the Congo - anarchy lives there. Putas.

So the poor little stars and starlets and wannabes are boohooing because the mean people with cameras chase them down - even stalk them admittedly - to get photos for the whore hopping media frenzied public.

So what.

They don't call it "selling your soul to the devil" for nothing.

Look you pussy schmucks, when you get paid THAT MUCH for doing basically nothing important you become public property. You become a slave to the public and fair game to the media. Will Smith, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, Mike Myers, Leonardi DiCaprio, Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Jennifer Aniston and Oprah. Your ass belongs to us.

WE MADE YOU.

Tell you what - if you don't like it then get off the stage and get the fuck out of the box office.

Stupid ass fucks.

Hey Julie (Julia) Roberts - if you don't like the papa's sneaking around your kid's school to snap some photos then quit taking our money, move your punk ass back to Smyrna and work in your daddy's vacuum cleaner shop like you were supposed to.

Every one of you who makes $3,000,000 or more per year OR continues to act like a fool (the real name for entertainers) owes us your privacy and your personal life.